8188

'the present is only intelligible in the light of the past'

'pin the pegbar on the animator' - postmodern collage: A. Mason & D. Holwill by N. Gibson, 2009. 'so playful'

Donald Holwill - the wizard, the head of the animation department at Edinburgh College of Art. the head of animation. on the second year we developed the theory that he really is a ghost, the great puppet master behind the shell of a body we encounter in animation department. and he shall be there immortal.

Donald Holwill is definitely a wizard, i am attending a school tutored by real wizards! i mean, i always knew eca animation was special, but i wouldn't expect that (i wouldn't expect it cos i would never think of it. and that's my arrogance at its best).
i may tell you why at some point, but not just yet. and i'm not sure if the great wizard himself would like it if i did.


these are few of many reasons why animation at eca is the best place to be.
(the main reason is obviously - because i am attending there)

this post may not make much sense.

8182 on the way to the station Nowhere we encounter funny places.

i am a bad, bad barmaid. what i wrote some time ago about the licencing law getting more and more strict, and all the discouraging from drinking idea... i feel a bit like a devil watching my customers through the night, how someone comes for just one pint early on, and ends up barely walking at 4 am.
i've been unfortunate enough to see some bad films recently. or - so to say - highly acclaimed shite.
probably the best of the worst was hertzfeldt's 'meaning of life'.
i used to hate his films, i refuse to remember his name (i copied and pasted it from wiki up there) - i feel like i'm absolutely from different planet there, because i don't find his films funny at all. i find them stupid and vexatious, like when in a train or something you have to listen to some culturally retarded teenagers' conversation.
but i was made watch all of his dvd in college. that was a disturbing experience. i found myself in the room full of people laughing at something that was making me feel sick. it was an interesting thing indeed - made me think of how awful human nature is and how much i don't belong there. intentionally or not, i've learned something valuable from his films.
ay, about 'the meaning of life' - that actually was funny, because this film, as i thought, wasn't meant to be a comedy, yet people were still laughing. the audience is a vicious thing, indeed.

god, i've got some hard character design (i properly suck at that) and a story board to do, then - i'm quite busy at the bar as well, and i'm so sleepy. and the project at uni to do as well, it's not bad, but it seems like that would take quite alot of my time. and so much is happening on the computer, i don't like working on the computer that much.(drawin by Cat Bruce, coloured by me again, i like our collabs)

8168

i don't have the thing for any new film recently. looking through many stories, some of them may be good if i give them more thought, but it just doesn't grasp me. sometimes i get a little kick for a day of two, but it doesn't last long. and it needs to last hell long for an animator.



there is one story i originally thought of as live action, but i think it may be interesing in animation as well. kind of 'romance', but without love really. interesing? i may talk it through with Bruce (meaning: i would talk and talk and she would drink tea or irn bru not necessarily listening, but simply talkin would make me realise what works and what doesn't. i can do it without Bruce really, but it makes me feel more insane to talk clearly to myself. i need her around as an excuse).
then, i wanted to so stop motion for a while, but it doesn't feel like stop motion at all.

my computer's falling apart as well. that sucks.

the film i'm working on right now, it's more of some experimental play than a film really. and i find myself well random when the big question (delivered by the devil himself - Alan Mason) arrives: "WHY?".
why - behind every little choice i make.
in this particular project i would say - "why not?".
that seems to be an answer for a while.
it isn't really.
it's more of an excuse.
i may try to use it for time being, simply because i seem unable to find any answers recently. but i won't give up.

8162

my pc crashed again and i started browsing apple online store (one day, one day...).
current project can't get me excited at all.
and i don't give a shit about professor Mason saying that it's the student that makes the project exciting. embracing everything as it comes and giving it all - that feels like mental whoring for me. life's too short and if i were to give it all to every single project, it'd be even shorter. i enjoy sleeping and wasting it as well.

high on cream soda (another thing Bruce got me into), and i think i've got a cold. i find it so much easier to work directly on the computer, but then it becomes pointless to go to college. i like going there for social reasons. so i end up going, wasting all that time and not having any work done.
autumn looks pretty in Edinburgh. i even went quite ok with money. at least till the end of this month. another thing i became so British at: feeling so mighty after Friday when i get my wages.

maybe that's how it should be: crashing, your computer gives you an excuse to drink another coffee and write something on your blog.