9055

Animation is a sticky poo. It's something on the edge of many religions, it's a bit of everything in a wide meanings of 'fine art' and 'visual entertainment'. I thought I was regarding it more as art, less as design, hence my choice of alma mater. Of course one needs to pay taxes for the doubtful pleasure of being alive, and therefore embrace the commercial side of animation to pay the bills.

I've been thinking recently of all this film making I've been known to be doing. Like: what's the point, and such. Really, there isn't much point, yet the effort is enormous, so the balance's not quite right. And it's not about making them any different way, so they're more this or that. Like, maybe less obscure, less arty-farty. That doesn't bother me, actually. It's the pointlessness of producing fine art in general, and depths of the animation industry swamps that easily get one caught in technical details. So it becomes less and less about art, up to the day when you find yourself fascinated by a new camera lens or a video codec and nothing else. I sometimes get an impression we're stonemasons who, obsessed with sculpting the most meticulously patterned pillar, lost sight of the god they were building the temple for.

So I sometimes wonder if I should do something else. But I'm a damn animator. Hopeless case.

I guess I'll just continue to make films. My hair grow whether I like it or not, and so are the films - that can't be helped. Oh dear…


Also, here's another tea 'poem' I found in my old sketchbook. Worry not, rest of them seems mostly too personal to be published so it's not a new fashion.


Yes, my life's about drinking tea a lot.

9052

that's a scan from my old sketchbook, from some years ago, college days. I've been going through them, sketchbooks, to look for something that would remind me why exactly I become an animator, but I failed. Oh my. I found other stuff tho, like this:





and this one it's more current, just from few days ago:

9042

yes, their staff does shine.
I wasn't in that particular one since then, and I shan't for the rest of the month. Somehow, I don't like the idea of being recognised. Luckily, living in the very center of the town, I'm spoiled for choice of coffee houses. This one was just the closest one.

9036

First more serious stuff, here's a project a friend of mine's involved in, support, support, support: www.kickstarter.com/projects/docstory/mix-1-2-albanian

And now, this isn't really amusing (that suggests that the other entries are...hm.) - I'm one of these vain girls who can't deny that the size matters:
(obviously I had, and damn, he was a gentleman enough to notice me coming and moved to aside to let me through. Believe me, that's a sign of a gentleman in our bar...)

9030

couldn't make it (again...*), but I had a nice mention on Exposures Festival site. Thank you, thank you:

(* I have finished Foundation Course at Manchester Met, then moved to Edinburgh in the sumer after graduating. Since then I've been countlessly promising myself I need to go back and visit. This Exposures is not the first one screening my film anyway, "Monster..." was on there in 2010, and yet I never had time to go. It has been the British Animation Awards screening in Cornerhouse Manchester that years ago made me think I'd study animation in the first place, and now I'm neglecting the Rainy Hill so much... shame, shame on me, I'm sorry)

Hello J

I got this email with some questions. I hope the author wouldn't think I'm taking a piss in here. That's just a bit less edited version of my thoughts, before I fit them into general conventions.

1) What do I think Scotland has to offer short film makers?
Well. I don't know. I never inquired. Nice views? Since I have graduated I've been so busy that I never had time to think about it at all.

2) How did I get the funding to make your short film and did I set myself a budget?
SAS paid for my tuition fees. And I worked in a bar all the years I've been at Uni to pay my bills. There was no budget.

3) What can the film festival organisers do better to attract more short film makers?
I don't know. I haven't been to a single festival showing my film, unless it was in the area where I stayed (and that only happened twice anyway). I am not in Glasgow right now, where the festival is happening, even tho I stay so close in Edinburgh. Even thinking of going makes me so tired already, talking to all the people, all these conversation with no topic and no consequence, I really can't do it now. I went to the theatre with my brother last night. It happened to be rather crowded and loud in the foyer before the play. We were standing among that crowd:
'are you thinking what I'm thinking?'
'fighting a desire to throw a grenade in there?'
We established we were both such misanthropes. We are, really. There's nothing wrong with festivals, I recon, it's just me.

4) For those who haven't seen my short film, what is it about and why should it win?
It's about monsters and children. All my films are about monsters and children, when I think about it. It's a bit about beauty and about fear. And it's just odd. I don't think it should win, I'm not really a competitive person. I like rivalry, but I can't let myself be swayed by winning or losing - that's silly. Short film is still an art form, it can be created for all sorts of purposes. It can generate different sorts of reactions, but it's value can't be measured. Art is not something we can fit in competition criteria, and short film, even though to some degree commercial, is still mostly an independent art form.

9014

besides that stupid fancy of being a lousy barmaid on the weekends, I actually work as an animator. I know, shocking.


(the last bit was her impression of me, not myself, really - I will be chained to my desk, and I'll enjoy every bit of it)

9001

in the real life, the studio I work for is in the final week of delivery to Disney. in the unprofessional life, I'm occasionally behind the bar still.