8151: uni started again.

i was as negative as i can, you can always count on me when it comes to that. it actually made me feel sick. all that enthusiasm, many loud people, new, "exciting" projects, all overflowing with happiness. i'm probably alergic to happiness.
and the banner project: i want to be a film maker, not a banner maker. shit happens, i have to do it.
i've been thinking of animation schools recently. you know, many people complain about Edinbrurgh College of Art, that nobody really teaches us anything etc. isn't that life, that you only get what you reach out for? that there's nothing really given?
there probably are schools that produce amazing, tiny cogs to fit into the animation studio machine. people who study all these tricks to make an animation look more real than live action. people who absolutely succeed in that. people who don't seem to have anything to say.
when i'm watching their work, it looks so much more mature than our silly things. and i can't see a single personality showing in these. just the massive monster of the industy conventions.
i'd rather wish to see animation "reach into places where live action doesn't go", really.
in the end i don't mind not being that skilled in portraying motion, because that's not what animation's about. whatever it is about, i can't be sure. but it's just what i make it, and i make it much deeper.
i'm happy to be attending ECA, where animation dep looks pretty much like the Toon Town from Rogger Rabbit. no matter how much i feel sick there sometimes, with all my alergic to happiness, there isn't any better place to be.



"why do people want to fly?"
"because they can't?", Bruce answered.