8151: uni started again.

i was as negative as i can, you can always count on me when it comes to that. it actually made me feel sick. all that enthusiasm, many loud people, new, "exciting" projects, all overflowing with happiness. i'm probably alergic to happiness.
and the banner project: i want to be a film maker, not a banner maker. shit happens, i have to do it.
i've been thinking of animation schools recently. you know, many people complain about Edinbrurgh College of Art, that nobody really teaches us anything etc. isn't that life, that you only get what you reach out for? that there's nothing really given?
there probably are schools that produce amazing, tiny cogs to fit into the animation studio machine. people who study all these tricks to make an animation look more real than live action. people who absolutely succeed in that. people who don't seem to have anything to say.
when i'm watching their work, it looks so much more mature than our silly things. and i can't see a single personality showing in these. just the massive monster of the industy conventions.
i'd rather wish to see animation "reach into places where live action doesn't go", really.
in the end i don't mind not being that skilled in portraying motion, because that's not what animation's about. whatever it is about, i can't be sure. but it's just what i make it, and i make it much deeper.
i'm happy to be attending ECA, where animation dep looks pretty much like the Toon Town from Rogger Rabbit. no matter how much i feel sick there sometimes, with all my alergic to happiness, there isn't any better place to be.



"why do people want to fly?"
"because they can't?", Bruce answered.

8137

i was thinking alot, what the hell is love. i heard many people talking about it, so i though it must be something important. sadly, i couldn't think of anyone who would know what love is. i texted Bruce, i though that from all the people, she would know.
she answered:
"a type of fruit u can buy only in ALDI... only in ALDI..."
clown.
i sometimes think i would like to be human, and they seem to be about love, so i wanted to know.
i don't think it would be an easy one.

what is love?
i am seriously looking for any answers because i have no idea. simply no idea.

8135

end of festival season. edinburgh international festival fireworks:

like that, and many other, for an hour yesterday night. feels like Walt Disney movie.
recorded with one of the crappies cameras ever.
note to Santa Claus: i want a new camera. i just remembered that the one i'm using isn't even mine...

8130

i found a watch, quite a nice one. nice enough for me to keep it. i like how its face has similar design to all these scary clocks in the old part of London. and it has one wee window with day of the month in it, that's god damn useful for someone like me (September really surprised me this year, i was sure i had at least 10 days of August left when it was the 1st already).
i fixed it.
but i can't wear it. it just feels wrong, as if my hand were cursed by some "time-measurin" monster.
it is beautiful, but scary at the same time.
fixing it, when i think of it now, it was kinda like giving the life to something that shouldn't be alive.
isn't that the filthy job of an animator?

1st of September was also changes in drinking policies in Scotland. it is really, really bad. as if drinking weren't so expensive already, you've gotta ID everyone under 25 (bloody 25), now you can't have deals on alcohol (no 'happy hours' in pubs then, no buy 1 get 1 free in TESCO... that makes me sad... we're only having 'sad hours' now). but you know what pissed me off most? that me, as a bartender, in the holy name of "discouraging from drinking" can't suggest "the same" drink to the customer. i can't ask: "same?" and serve the drink the customer was drinking here for years, because that encourages drinking. honestly, that's how we make tips. and that's the pub culture. o my god, this world's going nuts.

well, let's make the legal drinking age 25 then, and double the prices, oh yeah, because that's gonna fix everything.