9131

I'm away.
I'm doing lots of flying, and I hate flying. I'm listening to McCartney's 'Ram' and I love it. I heard it on LP, but it'd good to have a CD on iPod too so he and Wainwright can hush me to sleep on the plane.

In the meantime, for few days it was Zwierzyniec lager outside on the abandoned railway station where lying in the tall grass one can see so many stars. Now it's red wine. We'll see what the next week brings.

And in the meantime of meantimes, I am also growing old, but I'm not really good at this.

Don't have much to show for myself just now. I re-watched 'Avatar' cartoon, thanks to Kri. I needed to skip through some more embarrassing bits (when each of those teenager had some trauma to sort out, please…), but overall, as an animator, I love watching all the fights. I like the way you move it!
(Funny, some time ago I've been to see 'Avengers' and I said it was ok, but the fighting was so long and so boring. Not nearly as sexy, smooth and energetic as in 'Avatar'. I guess that's something live action can't do as well as 2D cartoon).

Right, I'll be back after Annecy and then I'll rumble on...

9116

I thought that maybe I am being a bitch, but having talked to many people they all agree, customer not ending an order with 'please' are simply... rude.
(rich, coming from me, I know)

I'm going away for few weeks.

9110/ Today in full colour:

I haven't done it for a long, long time. Ironically, not since I went to art school. I only did it now because I have some leftover canvas, and a whole set of paints (although they all needed some hard core knife crumbling through the dried paint on top action). So yeah, not a Turner prize things, but it would look nice in the kitchen or something:

I call it: "Carnations, Teapot & Paul McCartney singing" - oil on canvas (he was, Lennon, Scott Walker and Rufus Wainwright sometimes too, but McCartney mostly). Creativity at its utmost. I've got more canvas still, so beware.

I'm feeling somehow impaired. I wish I could draw happy careless smiley faces. Or I wish I could draw this, or that, or that. Never what I actually do, grass is always greener on the other side. Probably the most creative non-commission things I do is life drawing with former college classmates in Starbucks. Here; photoshop one-layer 'painting' based on our last 'session':

Ages ago I had a very best, special friend. Among many things that we annoyed each other with, she would comment on how ridiculously weird compositions I always choose, with the main subject somewhere on the side, often cropped half way in and out of the frame. And that's right, I do that so often, don't know why. Don't know if that's good or bad, it seems that's the way my brain sees stuff. It feels natural that way. Weirdo.

9105

 I like old things, and I like beautiful things, and so I like "Valerie and Her Week of Wonders". I've been 'being disillusioned' (as the acclaimed director Neil Jack put it last time we spoke, and I couldn't help noticing: does that mean that 'illusioned' /deceived/ would be artists' default mode?), so I tried to look into inspiring things.

In a way, it is quite relevant. In art college I've been trying to learn film-making: perhaps organising and labeling things makes it seem manageable, a bit safer. Is there a 'safer', more 'manageable' way to do art? Bullshit. And that's what things like "Valerie" remind me of: they'd take me for some insane ride and give me a beating until all of these so-called principals crumble, until there's nothing to understand, nothing to comprehend, nothing to write essays about. Just the world to experience.

that's some weird drawings, sorry. I'm tired.

9102

 bits of stuff I've been doing when I'm actually being creative, bits of storyboard (although not in story order, they looked better re-arranged) I've been doing some time ago. Actual story is something I've been working on years ago, on my Foundation year at MMU, but I only got to develop it now:

perhaps that will get animated some time in the summer.

hopefully I could be putting more here. It's quite hard to do anything, I don't have a scanner, I don't have Internet, and too often I'm not in a fit state, and then I often can't even publish what I do anyway.

Party season, and going away places season had started. I'll do some happy things, I tell myself.  Life's either bleak and scary facing our insignificance, or it's strawberries, love and dances.
(and a bit of hang over following)

PS. Worker's Day. I totally didn't realise it's May already. I'm not here with the real world. (Nostalgia)

9089

Many things and no-things are happening. Nice Edinburgh spring, hailing, and raining, and sunny too - all one can ask for. Had adventures with doctors (pirates and scientists), but it seems like I'm getting real better. Never liked them, doctors, poking you here and there and acting all mighty like they know stuff about your own self better than you do.

In the meantime, while ago, but I never yet got to mention it, Gaz (and Pete) won BAFTA New Talent Scotland for all the noise they made for "An Interrupted Story" - dashing times:

and I got someone writing nice things about me here.

And some shitty strip at the end, not sure if it actually works at all. It worked back then, the guy looked like he was * r e a l * e x c i t e d about that band . . .

9079 /P. Gauguin:1897

I love history, I believe that knowing origins of things helps comprehending them. Both on personal level of one's feelings, and in general: socially, politically, economically: tomorrow's a result of today, that's a result of yesterday.
I don't want to dismiss yesterday.
Whether we like or not, we've been created by the culture of this and that.
Whether I'm to be proud of this heritage or not, I want to respect it.

It makes me feel a bit lonely in the world that's looking mostly into producing the force to drive the today. On the other hand, it is a form of carpe diem (ironically, such unpopular knowledge as of latin and ancient history required to describe it...). It's all great, but god*, don't let us become a generation that came from nowhere, or we may be going nowhere too.

Chocolate sickens me more than burning incense used to when I was little.

*figuratively, in spite of the traditionalistic tone of this note, and Easter time.

9073

a bit of blowing the studio's I worked in trumpet:
you know how I was dead to the animation world last half a year? That was mainly thanks to this super fun production:

read the rest of it here

There's another one here too.

And this is why they call me the Fast And Furious Pony of the East: