8190

it all started to feel as if it was playing too fast. "i don't like your pacing", i thought to my life.
all the wonders and amusements i had during this way too long weekend, including seeing people having sex on the bus stop, one couple kissing, that looked alot like that shot from 'spiderman', only that the guy wasn't upside down, then one man pissing, but completely naked, and some more strange people. then the rain was getting heavier and heavier and i drunk too much. i mean, not that much, but i was supposed to work on the storyboard, and i'm not able.
then again i had some guy giving me his number. again - it doesn't happen every day, but often enough for me, who doesn't do that at all.
i don't really get it, if i were to have a relationship it would so not start with exchanging phone numbers. i am a helpless romantic. i would never go out with someone just for his look (or wouldn't respect a guy who does for her look).
i mean, if you just want to get laid, there's so many more drunk women in the bar, you don't go for a barmaid who obviously won't be able to go with you that night cos she's working.
and if you're after something more than simply sex, then it's well shallow to do it that way.

if i were interested in someone, i would talk to them. i would talk to them again, i would look for a chance to talk, i would want to find out so many things about them and tell them about me before i'd even think of giving them my number and suggesting "i've got a double bed and it feels empty there".
i probably am a helpless romantic and can't find my way in the modern world.
that's how i never really look at this numbers i get.

in general, it wasn't the best weekend i ever had...

8112

yesterday (today morning, actually), something past 6am, i met one drunk woman. she wasn't even that bad. she started walking next to me, telling me how she gad that argument with her father, i got to know her whole family story (quite a complicated one), her tattoos and god knows what else i was fine without knowing.
first, when she started, i let her talk, i though - if she needed that, i can half listen on my way home. but then i got pissed off. was i a green fairy again?
you know, that happens, you get to listen to whatever the drunken men at your bar have to say. green fairy - some mysterious creature keeping the alcoholic's company, listening to his stories.
i'm not a fairy.
i'm not a piece of furniture one'd talk to.
i don't feel like carng for anyone's dramas. i can only make films based on some more interesting ones.

it pissed me off, because - like most of them - she never cared about me. never cared if i wanted to listen or not, what was i doing there at 6 am. never cared if i even existed, treated me like a thing, a simple thing to talk to. i don't feel like listening to such people's dramas.
if i were a green fairy, i would eat them afterwards.