9188

It's my nameday today. I forgot, my mum reminded me. It used to be such a big celebration - second Christmas -  for my family in Zamosc, because it is my granny's nameday too. It was warm, children would climb trees, and we'd stay out in the gardens and plait wreaths, a long time ago in the enchanted middle of nowhere's midsummer night's dream.

9154

Spider in my tea: that really happened few days ago, before I got too busy to take notice of things happening anyway.

It feels summery recently, is it summer yet? You know, warm, and with lots of alcohol consumed, and lots of people visiting, lots of various parties, with animators, or any other bums.

I'm trying to get myself to work, and I can't believe it's the end of the week already, which means, bloody weekend in the bar. I didn't get a chance to recover from the previous one yet. Strangest thing ever, my work piled up. Considering I'm a mix of a workaholic that can never sleep until everything's finished, and a lazy bum that never takes too much work anyway, that's very strange.

9042

yes, their staff does shine.
I wasn't in that particular one since then, and I shan't for the rest of the month. Somehow, I don't like the idea of being recognised. Luckily, living in the very center of the town, I'm spoiled for choice of coffee houses. This one was just the closest one.

Hello J

I got this email with some questions. I hope the author wouldn't think I'm taking a piss in here. That's just a bit less edited version of my thoughts, before I fit them into general conventions.

1) What do I think Scotland has to offer short film makers?
Well. I don't know. I never inquired. Nice views? Since I have graduated I've been so busy that I never had time to think about it at all.

2) How did I get the funding to make your short film and did I set myself a budget?
SAS paid for my tuition fees. And I worked in a bar all the years I've been at Uni to pay my bills. There was no budget.

3) What can the film festival organisers do better to attract more short film makers?
I don't know. I haven't been to a single festival showing my film, unless it was in the area where I stayed (and that only happened twice anyway). I am not in Glasgow right now, where the festival is happening, even tho I stay so close in Edinburgh. Even thinking of going makes me so tired already, talking to all the people, all these conversation with no topic and no consequence, I really can't do it now. I went to the theatre with my brother last night. It happened to be rather crowded and loud in the foyer before the play. We were standing among that crowd:
'are you thinking what I'm thinking?'
'fighting a desire to throw a grenade in there?'
We established we were both such misanthropes. We are, really. There's nothing wrong with festivals, I recon, it's just me.

4) For those who haven't seen my short film, what is it about and why should it win?
It's about monsters and children. All my films are about monsters and children, when I think about it. It's a bit about beauty and about fear. And it's just odd. I don't think it should win, I'm not really a competitive person. I like rivalry, but I can't let myself be swayed by winning or losing - that's silly. Short film is still an art form, it can be created for all sorts of purposes. It can generate different sorts of reactions, but it's value can't be measured. Art is not something we can fit in competition criteria, and short film, even though to some degree commercial, is still mostly an independent art form.

9014

besides that stupid fancy of being a lousy barmaid on the weekends, I actually work as an animator. I know, shocking.

(the last bit was her impression of me, not myself, really - I will be chained to my desk, and I'll enjoy every bit of it)

white stuff break

I just arrived at my parents' home for Chritmas. It's all white here. Holiday break time for a week.

The same story from alternative point of view:

On Sunday, as I usually do on Sundays, I woke up around 2 in the afternoon, after having drinks till 5am with people I work with at the bar. Then, as usual, I found that I have very little in my fridge, and since Sunday's the only day off I get, I crawl out to do grocery shopping. Yes, this story is exciting. My hobby is baking, I bake up to three times a week, and at very least once, thus most of my shopping is somehow baking-related.

On the way to the shops, I passed by yet another busker on Rose St. They're always there, in one form or another. The guy wasn't anything special, but wasn't too bad either. That reminded me of THE busker, the guy who kept consequently turning my life into misery with his voice, past few months. The guys sounded a bit like him, in his first days. Back then we thought that was a busker, and he had a guitar. He lost it some time later, and his singing was becoming worse and worse. In past few months it become clear that the guy wasn't a busker, he was homeless. Since August till now I've been observing his degradation under my door. How much he annoyed me - you can see clearly from my previous entries. Police took him once, but he returned. Recently he was looking pretty bad - it became cold, he long lost his guitar, and didn't even sang that much anymore. One day, coming back from work, I've seen the police van in front of my door, coppers were taking him in. They were talking to him, and he just sat there, motionless, not reacting to anything. Eventually, they grabbed him into the van and I haven't seen him since. I believe I may, once christmas shopping starts, he may use this chance to get some money on busy Rose St again. But having that image in mind, and heaving another busker, it reminded me how much the guy changed this past few months.

When he first came under my windows, back when we took him for a busker, I was really annoyed at his bad singing. I really wished him to stop, and I couldn't understand why would someone keep singing so persistently, with so little talent. Now that I know he was homeless back then, I have second thoughts about it. Sitting on a busy street all day with thousands people passing you by, and hardly anyone noticing you, having nowhere to go, in a way - nearly not existing, the very little he could do to let the world know that he was there, was to sing.

Surprising amount of my shopping was organic, and after I got back, the man of the house commented on my story: "you're buying organic and you're having charitable thought, I don't recognise you anymore". Haha. That's what Sundays do to people. I'm far from charitable, just thought it was romantic. I guess that's my Christmas message done for this year.

8903

I like things old-fashioned. I don't know what's so appealing about them.
I'm spending evenings watching films about and in a way, from the past. Like Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes.

But I must admit, I prefer modern Jude Law as Watson. Funny detail I noticed watching the old series: Jude Law features in one of the episodes, as a servant/stable boy. In 20 year time he has made it into the Watson.

As for the preoccupying every day life, I'm still in gainful and sweet employment at film/animation studio, only that in past few weeks I've been moved from model-making into storyboarding and animating. It's generally great. Sometimes the routine of Monday-Friday job leaves me drained, as if would any "artist" (even a piss artist like myself). Sometimes, on the other hand, I remember all these years at school, being scolded for stupid doodling when there were far more important things to concentrate on: reptiles' digestive system, Shakespeare in algebra or organic chemistry. And, oh irony, what do I end up doing for living if not doodling? I should have been doodling more intensely, maybe I'd do better.

On all the other matters, Edinburgh's still as beautiful as it has always been, and the autumn surely is my favourite season. I have one unfortunate busker under my window, he appears there much too often, and the only thing to admire is his sheer persistence, to keep singing without any talent at all: surely not one person must have told him to shut up already. If you happen to know the busker guy (sometimes accompanied by some friend) singing on the corner of Rose and Castle St in Edinburgh, oh please tell him to shut up. On some occasions I have considered giving him money so he'd go away…

I'm combing unhealthy thoughts, drinking tea, or wine, baking some stuff and living meaninglessly, just the usual. My films are getting into various festivals, but I don't even have time to keep track of that, not to mention, to go and attend anything. I'll try to look into it. God bless busy live.

8889

I was thinking of many things this week. Of Stalin's crimes, the crimes of my own, of being an artist, and its role in the society. Of how beautiful Edinburgh is every day as I see it going to work. Of the pointlessness of life (although on this subject I didn't get anywhere, as you can imagine).

Things are changing, I passed by Edinburgh College of Art: its orange got a bit paler with Edinburgh University signs. I am a busy, busy person, which is probably good. Only that I can't answer emails properly and on time.

During the weekends I'm still in the bar. It's not bad, only bad thing is that I didn't have a single day off in past two months yet, and it doesn't seem like I'm getting any till Christmas. But the bar is fun too, it's not a bad luck to be there, really.

8854

I have lived without Internet in my flat for a month now. It is somehow detoxing. I realise how little I really need it, how well I can get around just checking my email once a week somewhere. I don't have time for this anyway: real busy working in the model-making team (or, officially, the art department) at Kolik. Sometimes it's tough, but we're making some really amazing stuff there, and you know: when I'm tired on the bus home, I think to myself - "how lucky I got myself tired making beautiful things". It's also a good team there; they kick me out if I stay and eagerly work too long (for now…). The talk is of pickled chicken, stations and stationery.

Artists, keep busy.

8848

busy busy busy.

I got my first job in an animation studio. Model making on a top secret stop motion production :) So top secret, that even myself, I don't know what it's called.

8826

I'm moving the flat. I'm planning to get internet in my new place some time, but then, when I spend like two days without it... you realise how much time I waste having internet now. I'll need that at some point: hell, I need it to work, but I'm not really in a hurry to get it yet.

I'm constantly sleepy. Bar work is soul and relationship-destructive for me recently.

8810

that's how it is. Another stop-motion commission to work on next week. I'm running here and there, not really fitting anywhere.

yes, life's funny. One can become a hypocrite stop motion animator just like that. Ok, I guess you need to be an animation graduate to get the "joke", and I can't afford to explain it now. It's rolling. I'm sleepy.

8796

I have graduated.

And then, there was some crazy tea party. More about that soon.

8764: news from the dark side

graduation time. Need for cash, therefore, more nights in behind the bar: the job of my life, so it seems. It is fun, as the second best option, but then my hands are really dry after all the glasses to clean, and all the liquid that's always on my hands working there, then I need to put some cream or something, then that makes my hands oily, and then, then it leaves mess on the glass when I work on the rostrum.

Yep, there's some new project, don't ask me why. Not that long ago I thought I didn't want to animate ever again, and here I am, like a proper addict, there's no escape... The less I write about that project, the better, I think, for I've been working on it semi sober, and in a rather childish approach (my argument being: "because I want that this way, therefore it's right!"), I wonder if my director, Avital Ash, noticed (I wonder if she knows about this blog...). But, as far as I could concentrate, I figured out: it's animated opening titles for THE FILM. The Film is from far away LA. Cindy, didn't Cindy live in LA? I hope she'll like that, with every single rostrum project I'm taking paper cut outs to the whole different level. They'd be so 3D soon that it won't count as cut outs anymore... Am I making any sense in here?

Well anyway, forget my usual misanthropic complaining, and my allergy to fun, the credits are fun to do. I think I wouldn't mind doing some more of this kind of stuff in the future.


other extra lame news regarding my graduation from Edinburgh Gutter of Art: our class has a nice website. And our school designed much less nice website too. Night in the cinema, 13th of June.

And "an interrupted story" is in Anima Mundi.

I think that's all.

8734

So the Britain is great, even ones like me get to wave the flag these jolly days. I've been out killing swans yesterday. I wasn't really. My friend was. But he didn't mean to, he has this addiction: he has to feed the birds, no matter how many times I tell him it's actually bad for them. I like singing "kill the birds" (to the melody of "feed the birds") on these occasions. But it was well nice, sitting in on the grass by that pond around Stockbridge having nothing to do, but in a delightful company. Nothing has really been sorted out, but things generally look better. I think I want to, I need to move on, if only to change scenery. To London, or to Glasgow: that is the question.



here's a showreel update, I think I made it around a month ago, but somehow never posted it online. I really need to think of publicity much more...

also, the degree show in the Filmhouse, where both of my degree films (I think, unless I change my mind, I wasn't sure about it first) will be screened is on the 13th of June. Check Filmhouse's website for ECA animation degree show.

8675

happy Romanian Spring Day!
and how much do I know about Romanian Spring Day? Nothing at all, and yet, the arrogant me just got given the most wonderful martisor ever. Well, it was the first one I've seen in my life too, but it doesn't mean it's not amazing, cos it is. Check the pictures:



These are pressed dried flowers in resin, and there's a pin at the back so I can... actually, Oana, whom I got it from, she told me to stop showing off. Maybe she won't see this blog... Maybe...
well anyway, it's the most beautiful martisor ever!


And here's some boring pictures from the dark place where I dwell:


setting up a wee close up scene:


and you've gotta clean after yourself. twelve times a second:


I think that's all I wanted. Just to show off, really. Animation's going alright, dissertation's going alright. I looked at the map yesterday, thinking of where the hell will I be in July. Even London seemed so unbelievably far away. Scotland feels so cozy.

8656

8488

dying, but not dead yet,

on the road to El Dorado,

in love, but not fallen

keeping it balanced on this roller-coaster,

I'm fine, thank you.

8412

First things first, someone twitted this article and I thought I may have a look, I'm to graduate next year this time, so it's good to know if there's some jobs going on, and… I found my own name there. Wow, how cool is that? I mean, someone bothered to SPELL the whole thing right!

Due to various reasons, even though I almost killed myself animating like crazy, I never managed to finish the TRAIN project for the planned deadline (that would be around now). It's 90% animated, and I'm working on the colouring now, the new plan is to finish it by September so I can concentrate on my graduation film and dissertation. Thanks for everyone who helped, and Claire, my main character number one fan - she says he reminds her of Gambit form X-men. I liked X-men, so I guess it's cool.

I really should update my website, or even make it serious (this article in the list, it made me think: "what if people really are looking at that website and it all looks like I'm a mental 14 years old?"). But I think the film is a priority right now, so the site won't change any soon. I can't even look at it myself anymore.

Right now I'm abroad where it's 34°C in shade right now. I colour my film, where the action takes place in winter, but it doesn't help. I'm to stay here just one and a half month more, so far my main place of residence is the cellar where it's a bit colder. But I share it with way too big spiders. Especially that they outnumber me greatly. And the Internet's only on the attic, where I think one could boil the kettle without putting it on.

oh flower of Scotland, when will I see your like again?